2007: This Year in Gibstory: January to June

Has another year past already? It seems like a century. Well, the MSM has beaten me to the punch in that year-end tradition of post-mortem grotesquery in which we remind ourselves of the horror of the last 12 moon cycles as minions of Gibbons. Let the figurative self-waterboarding begin!

Course, gotta love the Sun's version of the Gube story. Lots of nice quotes from Republican cronies, but apparently not one actual critic of the Gov could be found to quote. I guess Barbara Buckley's number must be unlisted or something. Either that or Dina Titus, Sheila Leslie, Jon Ralston, or Steve Sebelius must be so hard to get on the phone, they are all so media shy. (Sun)

January. Caffeine jitters at the midnight swearing in to de-rail a Guinn appointment to a state board. World's worst state of the state speech. World's biggest and most pointless transition team, the findings of which are not merely ignored, but suppressed. The long line of pathetic appointees begins. The incompetent Homeland Security boob. The disgraced cop in public safety. The Energy appointee with the, for the Gube anyway, unpronounceable name and ever-changing country of origin. Gad. Is January over yet?

February. Yay! FBI probe month! FBI announces probe into possible palm greasing of greasy Gibbons' palms by war-profiteering Reno company eTreppid. The cover-up of the Mazzeo-grope winds to a successful close--for the powers that be, not Mazzeo, that is. Nevada corporate overlords pour cash over Governor's balls.

March. Gibbons taps corporate backers for help paying his massive legal bill with an ethically bankrupt slushfund. Gibbons proves himself to be the Larry David of scandal-handling. Whispers of recall turn out to be, unfortunately, just that. eTreppid has shady dealings in Florida. Not to be outdone, Dawn, the first co-conspirator, proves that she's no slack at getting her palms greasy.

April. Hot-shot lawyer, slurping slop from that slushfund, tells press of the then-congressman GIbbons' and his lady's lovely trip to Turkey, paid for by pals pandering for government payola. Gibbons' channels Milhous and murmurs menacingly about a "conspiracy." Unfortunately, the late president will still be inhabiting the Governor's body well into December.

May. Governor taps scarce state funds to build pointless, third terrorism "fusion" center in Carson City. Governor Milhous uses constitutionally questionable tactic to interfere pointlessly in Legislature's business. Gibbons debuts the latest fashion craze on national T.V.: Napkinhats!

June. Gibbons and cronies crow of Gube's "successes" during the Legislative session, among which we find: only 1/5th roads funded, a constitutional crisis over Gube's "education first" prop, supporting large funding increases for pet projects while yammering "no new taxes," and setting the state up for it's budget crisis just a few months hence. Any more successes like these and they'll have to sell the state to Utah for scrap. Gube skips meeting about pointless Carson City "fusion" center with state officials for pointless pr ceremony. Sex offender signs sex offender bill. Slushfunder admits slushfunding is illegal.

Next...July to December.