Vote Gibbons Out! Jim Gibbons is America's Worst Governor!

Quick Gubenews

Hey, there's a campaign on over in Nor'Town and I've been busy. So you can just bite me for not keeping up with the latest Gibbons' insanity. Man, it'd take a million monkeys and a million typewriters to keep up with that in any case.

Okay. I feel better now.

Anyways:

• Gube must give deposition in wrongful-firing case despite the Gube's argument that he wasn't personally involved in the firing, just like he wasn't personally involved in smacking a waitress or divorcing his wife or putting a room tax in his budget. (KOLO,AP,Fox5)
• Sierra Nevada corp., whose principals took the Gibbonses on trips to Turkey and employed Dawn with the most ludicrous job ever, are doing fine, thank you. (CLB)
• Gube violates state law in latest appointment fiasco, but the upside is we get to see Pooper Scoop Dan Burns dig deep into his inner spinster as he tries, yet again, to sweep up the Gube's latest mess with a variant of the Clinton "is has many meanings" defense. (VT&S,RJ,Sun)
• Gibbers violates gube staff rule of not putting himself within 200 feet of a microphone or a member of the press. (MM,MM,VT&S,Gleaner) Yes, there was tons of gaffeiness in that interview that Molly Ball used her wiles to pry out of the Gube at that insult-an-asian buffet, but the most disturbing point in my mind was the Guv's admission that he couldn't tell a Molly Ball from a J. Patrick Coolican:

In an interview last week, asked about the controversy over his staff salaries, Gibbons decided to turn the question around on the questioner.

"First of all, I think there's a great deal of media misinformation put out by people who do not understand the facts, i.e., you," he said.

The reporter asking the question had never written a single word about the salary issue.

He really can't tell one reporter from the next? Man, he has been avoiding the press. That probably explains why he can't tell the state Nevada Republican party, which is ready to pitch Captain Zero over the side, from Monte Miller and that RV guy. Saith the Gibbers: "The Republicans I talk to are all coming around saying to me that I'm doing a good job, so I don't know what you're talking about." Yup. All two of 'em. Not counting Pooper Scoop, natch.

By the way, those of you who have suffered through the last one or two of Gibbons' congressional runs know that this is perhaps the biggest whopper ever to leap out of the Gube's maw: "I've never had an easy race in my life, why would I expect a change now?" What? Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to crush a lineup of no-name candidates over the safest seat in Congress wasn't easy?

• Oh, yeah. Legislature kills Gube's plan to merge the two touristy commssions. (NA) I guess there's really no point to impeaching him after all.
  

Nøt Me!!

Yup, Captain Zero is in a holding pattern all right as he changes his mind again and accepts fed stimulus money for unemployment comp, though he's still suspicious of them Washington folk and doesn't really like it. (INP,Sun,RJ) He should know, being one of them Washington folk for nearly a decade.

More of that "not governing by polls" stuff, I suppose, since his prior stance--from yesterday--won nearly universal derision. But, surely that didn't sway him.

Molly Ball caught the Gube lying to yet another local Chamber about how he never supported the room tax that he carefully placed in his own budget. Nope, those nasty, pushy Nevadans made him do it, the heartless bullies. (RJ) In the same breath he claimed that he had balanced the budget without any taxes, including that room tax. The one he never supported except when he did.

You know, I hope there isn't anyone out there still trying to make sense of the GIbberish oozing out of the Carson manse. You'll only hurt yourself.

The Governor also proved how well versed he is in the history and laws of his own beloved Nevada--that is when he's not out MILF hunting in California. The Gube apparently wasn't quite sure if prostitution is legal in the state. (S&G) Say, that tin hat pic never gets old, does it?

Breaking news! Gibbons becoming Catholic priest! (RN&R) Oh, wait. Something fishy about that story. How can nuns be MILFs?

Oh...

Speaking on background, one of Gibbons’ aides said the governor has been reading a lot of history lately, and she believes some features of Catholic history attracted him. “There’s the burnings at the stake, of course, and there are the cardinals and popes with mistresses. Besides, his experience in treating politics as a battle between good and evil helps qualify him for the priesthood.”

She said when he was reading about the Inquisition, he said, “What’s not to like?”

Gibbons’ estranged wife, Dawn, had no comment except to say that the governor hasn’t a prayer for redemption. She’s Presbyterian. (RN&R)

Say, the Ethics Commission let the Nuke guy off the hook. (RJ) Loux even used the Gube's defense, namely that he had authorization to raise salaries. Huh. I wonder why it's not working so good for the Guber?

Oh, and if you're still wondering "where's the FBI", apparently they've been busy. (Reuters)

Legal Edition Gubelets

The Governors headed to court again. Or is that courts?

• US Magistrate Robert McQuaid will be deciding if references to the Gibbons' divorce should be removed from the complaint by fired Gube staffer Mary Keating against Gibbers and a wife-mauling minion that she was wrongly discharged. Keating, not the wife. Gube lawyers claim that the divorce stuff is "irrelevant, impertinent and scandalous." Thought they were talking about the Gube, didn't ya? (AP)
• The Knappster smells divorce depositions in the air. Must be spring in Reno. "Our watchword for this week is "depositions," as in, formal, under-oath testimony delivered in preparation for certain kinds of legal proceedings, including, say, a divorce case. Sometimes, the most interesting things pop up in depositions. Sure wish I had been a fly on a certain wall up in Reno." (LVCL)
• Chrissy Mazzeo's lawyer got the go ahead from a judge to paw through Gube phone records and police reports about Jim's Night Out. But he doesn't get to depose the Guv until a bunch of motions to dismiss from the cover-up gang are settled. (Sun) A gleaning reader noted the odd last sentence to the piece: "A police investigation cleared Gibbons of wrongdoing." No. The police investigation, headed by one of the Guv's co-conspirators, merely concluded that the police were tired, cranky, and sick of taking Siggy's calls.
• In both the Mazzeo case and the Keating case, the Gube tried to worm his way out by claiming he was too busy to bother with the legal stuff. Bet he wishes he hadn't been so eager to dodge work by telling the Legislature that the budget is all theirs now. Kinda undermined his lawyers' point.

Eh? He's Still Gube? Gublets

• Legislature moves to make Governor even more irrelevant, if that's possible, by going after stimulus funds whether the Gube wants them or not. (AP)
• Gibbons on hit-list of Gubes facing a voter rebellion after economy collaspes around them. (Bloomberg)
• Who knew that Shelley Berkley and Dina Titus would turn against us and try to protect the rich from paying their fair share in taxes? (Sun) Well, probably anybody who's ever looked at a Nevada campaign finance report would have known. Pay to play, indeed. Somebody please remind me how Democrats differ from Republicans again?
• Oh yeah, the New York Times had a story on the Gube that asked the question: What does Gibbons want? Pshaw. I thought that was clear. A couple shots of cheap red wine and a waitress to punch. Anyways, I thought the other Times story about Nevada that week was far more illuminating of the Nevada psyche. It's about eating cow balls in Virginia City. (NYT) Mmm. Cow balls.
• The signature hands-on, micro-managing style of the Gube was in full view today, as the Gube's department of disorganization introduced a bill similar to an Assembly bill which would force the Gube to take stimulus funds for unemployment benefits--all while the Gube is still undecided on whether to accept the funds. (INP,INP) If that made any sense to you, perhaps you should apply for the Gube's staff. I hear they have great salaries.

Yup:

The salary increases make a mockery of Gibbons' pledge that he and his inner circle would tighten their belts right along with state employees and schoolteachers who were asked to accept 6 percent pay cuts starting July 1 in an effort to help close Nevada's budget deficit. "Asked" is a term of art; fact is, Gibbons pinned the 6 percent cut to their lapels and asked them to wear the boutonnieres with a sense of collective pride. We're all in this together, the governor has been telling us.

Now state workers can prove that's not true: We're not all in this together. And the governor, who seemed so sincere as he described the hard times and hard choices facing state government, sounds like a used-car salesman caught with a worthless warranty.

This isn't just another Gibbons pratfall. This exposes the administration's inner hypocrisy. This illustrates the petty word games the governor plays to justify his political agenda. (John L. Smith)

Uh. Wait. When did he ever seem sincere?

Gibbers Illicitly Benefits From Phony Fed ACORN Invasion?

Ooo. How did I miss this one from Raw Story?

Remember how the State of Nevada busted into the offices of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) over bogus accusations of voter fraud? Well, now the Nevada Secretary of State's office is claiming that the FBI and the US Attorney General's office were working with the SoS on the raid.

However, that seems to contradict earlier claims by the SoS that the Feds were not involved. More importantly, it raises concerns that the break in was politically motivated by the Feds to help out the McCain ticket. Said a law expert from NYU:

“The manual governing how federal prosecutors are supposed to act with respect to election crimes says you should do everything in your power to conduct your investigation so that the investigation does not become an issue in the election,” Levitt told Raw Story in a recent interview. “The raid is certainly not that.”

Raw Story wonders if there might not be a connection to the firings of the U.S. Attorneys by the Bush administration. One of the original reasons for the firings was that the Attorneys were not sufficiently pursuing Republican fantasies of "voter fraud" and suppressing voter turn out enough.

Indeed, one pol who couldn't resist expressing his well known paranoia about voter enfranchisement was our fair governor:

The internal Justice Department investigation completed last September by the Office of the Inspector General and the Office of Professional Responsibility clearly found that former New Mexico US Attorney David Iglesias, asked to resign on the same day as Bogden, was purged for partisan political reasons after he had set up an Election Integrity Task Force in 2006 similar to the one in Nevada last year but had failed to prosecute any cases of election fraud. The report notes that the task force targeted ACORN in New Mexico. But Iglesias found no grounds for prosecution. [...]

Absent from the Inspector General report is that [then Nevada US Attorney Daniel] Bogden, an independent who claims no Party affiliation, had reportedly opened a corruption probe during his US Attorney tenure into Nevada Republican Gov. Jim Gibbons. Gibbons was alleged to have accepted payments and gifts while serving in Congress from his friend Warren Trepp, owner of Reno-based eTreppid Technologies LLC., in return for helping to secure defense contracts for Trepp’s company.

Charges were never brought against Gibbons during [current US Attorney for Nevada Gregory] Brower’s tenure as US Attorney. According to Gibbons’ lawyer, Abbe Lowell, the probe ended on November 2, two days before the Democratic victory in the 2008 Presidential election, which quickly led to sweeping changes in the Department of Justice.

The day after the Nevada ACORN raid, Governor Gibbons issued the following press release.

“Our voting system is very simply the greatest in the world and is the basis of what makes this country great,” Gibbons said. “The allegation that an organization that’s main purpose is to register new voters was doing so fraudulently is very troubling. I believe that requiring a photo ID to vote is a very reasonable protection for our voting system and should be enacted as law by the 2009 Legislature.”

Gibbons' use of the ACORN raid to possibly further a political agenda is similar to other cases of alleged political prosecutions, such as the case of Mississippi lawyer Paul Minor and the use of his indictments and conviction to paint Democrats as corrupt. (Raw Story)

Ahh. So Abbe Lowell's personal exoneration of the Gube's possible bribation came out two days before the election which would purge the Department of Justice of its partisan patsies? Is it possible that the source of Abbe's illicit info was summarily sacked?

So, is Treppgate really dead?

She Parties with Gibbers!

So, claim the Clark County Democrats of NLV mayoral wannabe--and spouse of a Richard Ziser enabler--Shari Buck in an entertaining flyer graced with a lovely fake photo of the councilwoman and her epic fail party leaders.

Okay, okay. I admit to spiffin' it up a little. After all, Captain Null wouldn't want to wander around without his costume, would he? Some legislator might recognize him, otherwise, and maybe call him a funny name.

Sniff! Don't it bring back fond memories of all those other guys who partied with Gibbons and paid the price? All except the 'Do, course, who's still in office, but seems to have embraced the Gube's inner nuttiness as he tries to revive his moribund party with grotesque, satanic undulations.

Yup. I'm sure it was my "I party with Gibbons" campaign what done 'em in, too. Couldn't have been all that Reid family trust fund money.

Still, one wonders what possessed the CC dems to go after the Buckster. Probabaly has nothing to do with that nasty fight she had with a cowboy hat fetishist over a clark county commission seat so long ago. No, probably not.

The Clark County Republicans are rather listlessly touting Buck over on their site--along with one Angelo Carvalho who's running for Nor'Town City Council Ward 3.

Oh, but shhhh. All the seats up in Nor'Town are non-partisan. It would just be a plain shame to remind folk of which ones belong to the Epic Fail party.

Tho, one wonders why a Sun story on the perhaps mythical "Obama bounce" in city elections would only interview two of the Democratic Candidates for Nor'Townie mayor. Yup. Ned Thomas is indeed listed over on the Dem's site, but is apparently not sufficiently anointed with front-runnerness by the MSM punditry to warrant a phone call.

[UPDATE: Ooops: Ned Thomas is mentioned in the Sun Story.]

But as for that bounce... You know, I can't think of the last time a Nor'Towner bounced for anything, except maybe closing time at the local tavern.

The Ruling Classless

Q. How many governors does it take to accept fed stimulus funds for unemployment?

A. Ø. (RJ)

Q. How many governors are Siggy and the old gang who delivered up Nevada's version of Rosemary's baby working for the Gube this time around?

A. Ø. (Sun,VT&S)

Q. How many Nevada Guvs think it's their job to work with the Legislature on the state budget?

A. Ø. (INP)

Q. How many Guvs does it take to sign the room tax bill the Guv included in his budget and said he would support but then changed his mind?

A. Ø. (Sun)

Q. How many state universities will be left as the Guv desperately tries to get stimulus money without meeting minimal funding requirements?

A. Ø. (Sun)

Q. How many Gube staffers aren't making out like hedge fund operators at AIG (or employees for the state Nuke office)?

A. Ø (INP,INP,INP)

Q. How many Nevada Guvs have ever hanged themselves?

A. 1.

Ah yes, the Guv manse is looking more and more like the Gurney household from the flick "The Ruling Class"--especially that first scene where the Earl of Gurney "accidentally" hangs himself whilst dressed in his uniform and tutu.

Except the hanging ain't accidental in the Carson castle as the Gube goes into hyper-gaffe mode during the dog days of the legislature.

Who can keep count? There's the bit where, after lambasting the former boss of the state anti-Yucca office for handing out salaries without state authority, the Gube showers his lackluster staff with increases during a downturn when lots of folks are facing joblessness or cuts. Yes, the Gube is the Gube, and, unfortunately has authority to raise some folks salaries, but only a completely tone-deaf pol like the Gibbers would lavish salary increases in these tough times and thus invite comparisons with the former nuke jefe.

And, yes, I must repeat that I find the Gube's staff lackluster. If it were otherwise, they would have him locked in a cage where he would do no more harm to himself--or to us. That especially goes for Pooper-Scoop Dan Burns. I usually feel pretty sorry for the guy or gal stuck in the press boss seat for the Gibbers. It's a thankless job, sweeping up the stinky goo following in the Gube's wake. But today's whining about folks in the Legislature--and throughout the state--calling the Gube funny names is just way out of line. Leave us our one pitiful means of entertainment, Dan, as your boss and the economy conspire to destroy our lives.

And then there's the bit where Gibbers refuses to give Assembly money poobah Morse Arberry info necessary for the budget process. (INP) You know, if the Governor has decided to resign, you'd think he'd have the decency to tell us.

And then there's the bit about dissing his pals by pretending he never supported the room tax.

And then, well, and then there's one good thing that's come out of this. A bunch of local bloggers and newsfolk have learned how to type the symbol Ø.

Least Likely Costumed Character to Appear in "Watchmen" Gubelets

• Nope. You won't see the Incredible Dr. Null in any Superhero gangs anytime soon. Not unless irrelevance, impotence, and a lame webbed limb are considered superpowers. Tho, he's getting pretty good at invisibility, and unfounded rumors claim the pentagon may be studying his podcasts to see if they can duplicate their soporific effect as a potential crowd control weapon.
• No surprise here: it looks like the Legislature can accept stimulus funds for the state whether the Gube wants to or not. (NA) Who knew the most powerful office in the state could be rendered so pointless?
• So, is it MILF hunting season in California or something? (INP,Sun) What other reason could the Gube have for disappearing to an undisclosed location in the land he loves to lambast?
• Yup, looks like the Gube is a goner. (MM,Sun,CD) Gibbons will have two hefty candidates to deal with in the Republican primary. Oh, okay, okay. The gube will have ONE hefty candidate to deal with, Joe Heck, competing for that ever important Adelson-Reno defense contractor-mining-dessicated Tahoe MILF campaign buck. The fact that there is any serious contention for the primary in an election with an incumbent gube just shows how shaky the Gubers' gubeship has become. Unless the amazing Dr. Null is able to find a way to reset the last two years to Ø, of course.
• Huh? Have I been wrong about Incline Village these so many years? The village board has voted to give health benefits to domestic partners. (NLTB) Has the last bastion of Nevada libertardiness--after Elko--fallen to the winds of progressive change? Don't they know that the state can only extend benefits to partners joined together with Holy Metaphysical Glue in a ceremony sprinkled with Jesus Juice? Elko should dig out the Jarbidge shovels and invade immediately to preserve the moral purity of our northern climes.

Dead Man Walking?

From the Fix:

1. Nevada (R): Gov. Jim Gibbons (R) is a dead man walking politically. Former state Sen. Joe Heck is getting into the Republican primary race, according to Fix friend Jon Ralston, and may be joined by other ambitious pols who see an opportunity in Gibbons's predicament. Democrats are headed for a primary between Clark County Commission Chair Rory Reid, eldest son of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and state Assembly Speaker Barbara Buckley. If Gibbons somehow survives the primary, Democrats will pick up this seat.

I think he meant "dead duck walking", tho. But he left out somebody--somebody else is running, too. I think. Um. Ah. Who was that??

Beware the Idiots of March, Dr. Null

Oh, what an exciting week! We've just watched a gooftard who couldn't wait to shove the Nulltard into the gubeship attack the Nulltard for doing what any idiot would have expected from an empty-shelled backbencher espousing the so-called small government "philosophy" used by men without conscience to elect an actor with Alzheimer's to the presidency.

Face it, "small government" wasn't a philosophy. It was just a means for otherwise nondescript charlatans  to ram their disease-ridden proboscides into the buttock of government and suck jobs and lobbyist money out of the flesh of the very thing they love to grow and claim to hate.

Oh, listen to them whine about how Gibbers betrayed them! But isn't he the perfect minimalist governor? All he does is have his staff type up an Excel spreadsheet, call it a budget, and then take off after a nap or a MILF. Then, he feigns surprise and calls all who expect more "whiners." Oh, it's not his job to come up with ideas--that's not what he was elected for. He was elected to let the state drown in the fetid bathwater of it's "philosophy."

Just remember that Raggio, Rogers, Myth, and all the crew gave you Gibbons when you could have had Dina Titus guiding us through these wretched times. Nope, only aholes in Henderson get her help now, the rest of use are stuck with Siggy's monster. All for an empty slogan. To all of you who enabled Gibbons: shame on you and quit your whining. Especially when you're only doing it for the celebrity and the money that creates for your pathetic little "cause." Did I say "cause"? I meant your private accounts, natch.